Idioms and a brothers talk

It is so funny to me that kids take expressions very literally (especially special ed kids). My class is doing an idiom project where they have to use fifteen idiom in sentences and make this book about it. There sentences have to show me they get the meaning of the word. They have 'check points' along the way, so I know that they are at least doing some work and on the right track. Procrastinators have a hard time in my class because I make them break it down. Anyway, here are some sentences that didn't quite hit the mark and I find funny:

For: "put my foot in my mouth" (they could change the pronouns if needed)

1) My sister is so loud that I told her to put her foot in her mouth so I could go to sleep.

2) Kate is so good at gymnastics that she can get her foot in her mouth.

For: "jump the gun" (this kid argued that it is drop the gun)

1) My dad dropped the gun so no one would get shot.

There was a lot of explaining to do on that one.

For: "eats like a bird"

1) She eats like a bird because she likes seeds.

On a completely unrelated note, the grade had their puberty talk with the nurse and PE staff earlier this week. I decided I LOVE this day. It is just too funny. Their reactions are priceless to me! Anyway, I thought this year was relatively mellow until a parent came in to see me the next morning as I was setting up. We had this interaction:

Mom: Good morning, Ms. F, can I come in? I have to share my son's reaction to the puberty talk to you because I don't think he gets it.
Me: Sure, what happened?
Mom: Well, he came home with this little goody bag of stuff (deodorant, diagrams) and he was pumped to tell me about it. He took out the diagram. He was like, 'mom, did you know my voice is going to get lower?' and 'do you know I'm going to get hair in all the places dad does?' Naturally, his two younger brothers came over and Michael started sharing what he learned with them. When he started explaining what he knew to my younger boys, I realized he didn't quite get it.
Me: Oh?
Mom: Yeah, he told them that one day they will go to the bathroom and instead of pee sperm will come out. He said to his brothers, "isn't that so cool? no more pee"
Both the mom and I were laughing and she continues...
Mom: So, do you think my husband and I should do a review course with him? Is there any harm in him thinking this?
I explained to her how the program is really about body changes as opposed to sex so he may not get that piece of it yet, and it was up to her as to how/if she wanted to clarify this with him.
He missed the boat a bit.

Poetry Response

Part of fifth grade is reading language is more figurative and descriptive. In class, we read this poem that I have been doing for years now. The children have a three paragraph response that they are required to write. Never before did I get a reaction like this:

"I hated this poem. It wouldn't get to the point. For example, she said "I saw the dawn creep across the sky." So what? Why do I care about the dawn going across the sky? This poem does not make any sense. How could she see "the ocean put on a dress."Why is this so beautiful anyway? She did not even explain the writing. I don't understand why she has to be so poetic. I understand why all of this attracts her even though the writing is bad. I see everything she see, but I don't act like it's amazing like she is. I don't know why so many people love this poem."

I love how he says that he doesn't understand why she has to be so poetic. After all, it is a poem.

There's a lot of love in the room!

This blog post is less about a particularly funny event and more about a surprising, ongoing trend in my class for this point in the year. There is quite a bit of talk about if you "like like" someone or just "like" them. For the spring of fifth grade in general, it is not so unusual. The unusual part for me is that there is one boy at the heart of all this. All of the girls like the same boy, and you should see how this little guy can handle all of these girls. Some older men would be watching him in awe...

Anyway, he's recently settled into a "relationship" with one girl in the class. To which he asked, "Ms. F, why don't you partner me with Sarah anymore?" The fact that he asked me that question let's me know how smart he really thinks I am.

However, even with the latest development, he still makes the rounds quite well by spending more time flirting than focusing on anything I'm saying. Some parents have even called asking for me to move their child away from this boy because they think it is disrupting their daughter's concentration. Frankly, his interest in girls and their interest in him is disrupting HIS concentration. I even tried to talk to him about what I've started calling "his silliness." That was my way of nicely saying he lost his focus. I also didn't want to touch on the whole "love" issue because I recognize he most likely didn't want to talk about it with me, his teacher. Little did I know he had a different idea. We had this interestion:

Me: Eric, I need to talk to you.
Eric: Yeah, Ms. F
Me: I need you to stay more focused during our lessons. You are getting too silly, and it is distracting.
Eric: I know! I know! (puts his head in his hands)
Me: Do you have any idea what's going on?
Eric: I don't need an idea. I know (head still in his hands)
Me: What do you know?
Eric: (looking at me) I like girls! I want to talk to them all the time. I think about them a lot too.
Me: I understand, and it is totally normal. You need to be able to feel those feelings and also do your school work...understand?
Eric: yeah

I thought this was going to calm the situation somewhat, and it did for awhile. I got a phone call from his mother that Eric thinks that he can do homework on skype with his "girlfriend." The boy is also telling his mother that I'm saying it is part of his assignment. I assured the mother that I would be happy to clarify that with him at school :). So we continued our talk with this interaction:

Me: Eric, are you doing your homework with Sarah on skype?
Eric: No
Me: Well, I heard from your mom that you told her that you were on skype doing homework with Sarah. You know that's not what I'm assigning.
Eric: Yeah, that's what she thinks because I told her that. Actually, we log on to say goodnight to each other.

Is it me or are these kids growing up too quickly? AND, what ever happened to just wishing your parents goodnight at 10? maybe a sibling and pet? AND, why don't these parents just take the computers away from the child if they don't want them to use it? AND,..well I could just go on and on....

Baby voice

I'm coming out and admitting my week back to work after a restful, blissful February vacation was stressful. Once again, none of this stress was at the fault of the children. What does that say about adults??

Anyway, there were plenty of interactions that made me smile, and here are a few of them:

I tutor this little boy, Aiden, who sometimes looking at him alone brings a smile to my face. He's a little chubby, fully of snot, has very curly hair that covers his eyes a bit, and as if that wasn't enough, he has an unfortunate breathing problem. He and I get along great, but he does have behavioral issues at school, and he loves, loves to be right. In fact, he and I have a behavioral chart for each time he doesn't argue with me while I'm helping him. He's currently working hard for a chance to play a video game on his dad's ipad for as this little guy says "a whole 20 minutes." His dad isn't worried that he'll have to had over his ipad any time soon. At this last visit, Aiden was only talking like a baby. We had this interaction:

boy (in obnoxious baby voice): I need help on 'dis one.
Me: Aiden, I'll help you, but you are too big to talk like that.
boy: sorwee! (still in baby voice) I'm 'da baby in 'da house.
Without responding, I walk over to the kitchen counter where I usually leave a note to his mom. Aiden stops me and STILL in his baby voice he says, "where you goin'?"
Me: I'm writing a note to your mom that you should go to bed very early tonight because you're a baby now.
boy: (NOW in regular voice) what?! why?! Don't do that. She'll do anything you say.
Me: We'll if you are a baby now, you should be going to bed soon. I don't, at say about, 7:30.
boy: Okay, okay...let's just do this math.

:) Worked like a charm!