Not my grandparents!

One of the fifth grade science lessons is about the 6 life processes that all living things do. They are: 1) gets energy 2) uses energy 3) gets rid of waste 4) grows 5) reacts to change 6) reproduce. As a way to practice looking for all six processes, kids pick picture cards out of a basket. They get to talk in a small group to go through the 6 life processes and decide if something is really alive. A little girl in my class got “grandparents.” I happen to know her grandma, which makes this even more funny. When she got her card, she sat and thought about it. Then, she came up to me and said:

Girl: Ms. F, I know that my grandparents are alive but they don’t do all of the life processes.

Me: Really?! They are people aren’t they? Which ones don’t they do?

Girl: Well, they don’t reproduce!

Me: Of course, they did. How do you think they became grandparents?

Girl: Ms. F, there is just no way. Not my grandparents!

Me: Why not? They had your parents.

Girl: They’re just so old.

Me: They weren’t always that old.

Girl: Can I just pick another card?

By the end of the day..

Every once and awhile I have a day that reminds me why I love teaching. It isn’t for the funny things that kids say (although I love that). We were starting to use our writing journals today, and I have this basket with writing ideas laminated on index cards. I get them from a variety of sources: my head, my heart, teaching magazines, books on teaching writing, etc. Anyway, I reached into the writing basket and this card came out: “If your teacher won a million dollars, what do you think s/he’d would do with it?” Just as I finished reading the question and a boy in my class said: “she’d choose a different career.” If you knew this boy’s personality, you’d know (like I did) that he didn’t mean it to be disrespectful. So, after quieting the reaction of the rest of the class, I said, “what makes you say that?” He said, “as a teacher, you probably don’t make a lot of money. You see, you’re one of the smartest people I know and I think you should make more money.” It was coming from a really sweet place! I realized there is a lot to what he said. Not surprisingly, he knew that teachers don’t make that much money. I started wondering if he could even conceive of another reason why I am a teacher. So, I asked, and he couldn’t. Wanting to move on with my lesson, I said: “think about it, and give me an answer at the end of the day.” He agreed, and we finished the lesson.

There was no mention of this until I was standing in the lunch room. The same little boy came over to me and said, “Hey, Ms. F, I have a riddle for you.” Humoring him, I said, “let me hear.” He said, “a man is laying dead on the floor of his office. The only thing in the room is an apple and a spilled glass of water. How did he die.” I made two suggestions: “He had a heart attack?” and “he choked on the apple.” With a huge smile, the boy said, “nope, both wrong.” Wanting this conversation to end, I said, “I give up!” He took a deep breath and said, “okay, think about it and give me an answer by the end of the day.” I had know choice but to give the kid a high five.

Getting more Handsome

I can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve posted. It was a really crazy week last week. I found myself so tired by the end of the week that I felt like I was just this body walking around, and my mind had gone to sleep a long time ago. The class is a really sweet one, and it is not them in and of themselves that tired me out so much. I was more drained from all of the other tasks I’ve taken on. I really like doing them, but it would not be an exaggeration to say I slept/laid around for most of the weekend. Anyway, here are a highlight of last week:


I was walking past the boys bathroom (which is not too far from my classroom by the way), and I heard a little voice from behind the door say, “Hey, Ms. F, is that you?” I stopped and said, “yes, are you alright?” The voice said, “Yup! I knew it was you because I heard your voice. Will you wait a second? I want to give you a hug.” At this point, I’m still not sure who is chatting with me through a bathroom door AND why he so badly wants to give me a hug. So, of course I say, “make sure you wash your hands. I’ll be right out here ” Out walks a little boy that I’ve known since he’s in kindergarten, and actually, I ended up helping one year with kindergarten soccer, and he was in it. The thing is that he was so much taller and older looking. He’d lost that kindergarten/1st grade baby face. As if this couldn’t get more ridiculous, we had this conversation:

Me: Hey, Bobby, you surprised me! I didn’t know who was coming out of the bathroom.
Boy: Yup, it was me. I saw you yesterday but you were talking to someone else. I don’t think you saw me.
Me: I don’t think I did.
Boy: You could of also not recognized me because I got more handsome this summer. That’s what my grandma told me. So, maybe you didn’t know it was me.
Me: I think that was it! You did get very handsome this summer.
Boy: (big smile) I knew that was it! See you later, Ms. F.

So cute! He “got so handsome” he thought I didn’t recognize him. Also, he was totally okay talking to me through the bathroom door. Haha..

Flag

For some unknown reason, the American flag that I've had in my classroom disappeared when I was unpacking boxes. So, my children had been pledging to a beautiful imaginary flag since Sept. 7th. We finally got word that the school found their 1 extra flag in the school basement (I'd be so scared to go down there). Anyway, when it was brought up to my room, it was on a pole that was so long that I couldn't put it in the flag pole holder because the ceiling got in the way. Now we know why this flag became the extra one that lived in the based and no one else wanted! Luckily, it was on a wooden pole, and when my awesome maintenance guys (seriously they are so good to me) got a chance they were going to trim the pole so we could hang our flag. So I leaned the flag, and it's super long pole against the wall, and I knew they'd trim it when they got a chance. One of the boys in the class came up to me and said: "Hey, Ms. F, I feel bad that you have to wait so long for our flag to get cut. You know my dad has a chain saw in our garage. He's away on a business trip, but I'd use it for you." Umm...no, you won't. That thought gave me at least two nightmares.

Not at all!

Since the start of the year, I've wanted to start a partnering blog called "From the Mouths of Parents." I have had some crazy parent stories lately, but I feel like it is getting harder to shock me. Maybe that's what three years of experience buys you. For instance, I had to turn down my dream of a class pet for a child who wasn't allergic to the animal but a completely unrelated allergen. Or, my personal favorite, "we decided last minute to take a week vacation. I won't be getting my child's work so don't bother sending it home. It's not like he'll miss that much." I want to say..."you're right, we're just going to sit in school and wait for you guys to come back." For my job's sake, thank goodness I have a filter between my brain and my mouth.

As far as kids, I had a moment today that made me laugh all day. I have a boy in my class who is pretty far along on the autistic spectrum. As with many kids, his condition is complicated and, of course, one of the many aspects of him is a complete misunderstanding of social norms. He also struggles unbelievably so with anything related to organization. Lately, he's been trying to cover up some things he knows he's forgotten or not done correctly. He's come up with these standard one liners to help him explain or try to get out of his little sticky situations. The standard one about not handing in homework is: "My parents weren't home last night. You know, this possible because my mom goes out some nights." The line hasn't work yet, but it is taking a long time to die out.

My students just came back from almost a week off due to a holiday. He was supposed to get something signed and he didn't. So we had this interaction:

Me: Sweetheart, what happened? I'm looking for my signed note.
Boy: Ms.F, my parents weren't home last night. You know, this possible because my mom goes out some nights.
Me: Bobby, we were just off for many nights. Are you being truthful with me?
Boy: Not at all
Me: I'm so disappointed about this.
Boy: Eh, I don't really care.
Me: Bobby, go back to your seat please.

I love how he totally came clean. I love my job!

An anesthesiologist & a mother

School is up and running! I have another great class this year, and quite honestly, I wasn't expecting it. You see there is this rumor among the teachers that if you get a sweet class one year, then you are bound to get a rough batch the next year. I loved my class last year, so I expected hell city. Either the shoe hasn't dropped yet or they're just a great bunch. There were two quotes from the kids "Getting to Know You" survey that just cracked me up. Here goes:

Question: What job do you think you'd like to have when you grow up and why?

One boy writes: "I'd like to be an anesthesiologist (spelled anastheezyologist) when I grow up. It is a type of doctor that can put people to sleep. I learned about this job when I had to have surgery this summer. I want to have this job because I think it is cool that you could put anyone to sleep whenever you wanted. I would especially like to use this with my brothers."

Question: Who are some of your friends in the grade? Why do you like being with them?

"I have only one true friend in this school and it is Joey. He is my true friend because he is the only one who understands how much I love rocks. We have a rock club together at recess. Even my mom doesn't understand how much I love rocks. I'm not allowed to pile them in the house anymore."

These answers made me laugh. I hope you enjoyed!

A Great Life

We are still setting up our classrooms, getting organized and having a whole bunch of meetings to get ready for the start of school. Today a colleague of mind brought her son in to school. He was bored out of his mind, so I offered for him to help me with some simple set-up tasks. When I offered the job to him, he said "Ms. F, you chose the right person because I'm a great helper." While he was helping in the room, he decided to share this thought about me with me:

Boy: Hey, Ms. F, you must have a great life.
Me: I think it's pretty good; what makes you say that?
Boy: Well, my mom says people who are organized can get there work done faster and then move on to more fun things. I'm not organized so I have less fun because I'm always looking for things. You're really organized, so you must have a lot of fun. That means you have a great life!
Me: You are right on!

I just found this so cute!