Naked People

I forgot to post this one, and it made me laugh when I was randomly retelling the story yesterday. Here goes:

I tell the kids that if they are having trouble and want extra help to try to get to school a little early. This way, they can come right to the classroom and I can help them before other kids get there. This little boy told me that he was going to come in early the next day, because he was still confused about math. So he walks in and tells me this:

Boy: Ms. F, I would have gotten here sooner but now my brother and I are punished.
Me: That's okay, sit down and take out what you want help with
Boy: I'm still really annoyed about being punished first thing this morning
Me: What happened?
Boy: It's really my brother's fault anyway. You see, I couldn't sleep last night and I saw he was up so I went into his room even though I was supposed to be in my bed.
Me: Is that why you were punished?
Boy: No, my brother showed me that there were naked people on the internet. I didn't even know there were naked people on the internet. Did you know there were naked people on the internet, Ms. F?
Me: Nope (I prefer to play dumb in these situations. Every teacher has their own strategy.)
Boy: My parents heard us, came in the room, and now they're really mad, but I think they are more mad at my brother.

I eventually got him focused on his work, but haha. Oh boys!

Fertilization

We are further into our science unit on genetics. I am aware of how close many of these conversations get to sex, but I have to say this class really handles the conversations quite well. They had a review sheet to do covering many of the important ideas in the unit so far. A key concept of the unit is fertilization (when an offspring gets half of their genetic information from their father and the other half from their mother). On their review sheet, they had to define fertilization, and many of them did quite well. Here are some funny responses:

"when a sperm and an egg UNITE!" (yes, written in caps)

"the reproductive organs join and connect to produce an offspring" (haha- we never discussed the reproductive organs)

"when the sperm meets the egg and they decide to have a baby" (haha- we never talked about cells having a discussion either)

Literature Circles

I will flat out admit that I got annoyed today. I was initially annoyed by a tutor who kept me on the phone forever. Then, my students had a really hard time working together. We were doing literature circles. For those of you who don't know, literature circles are when the students read a passage and get an opportunity to share their thoughts based on their "job." There are jobs like "Scene Setter, Passage Master and Have-In-Common Connector. The first few times were great! The kids really seemed to get into their role. I toyed with the idea of stopping the groups, but the kids seemed to want the experience of trying each job. Anyway, today's literature circles had so much arguing and talking over each other. I stopped the groups and asked them to answer two questions on a sheet of lined paper: what is the problem in your group today? how do you suggest you fix the problem? I shared with them that a "boring" teacher would just have them take tests on the book. Here are some of the responses:

"In my group, people are talking over one another. People are also rudely arguing about something that isn't really relevant."

"Michael blames everything on me because he hates me."

"The problem in my literature circle is under the category of disrespect. There is a lot of side commentary and everyone is yelling."

"There are people in my group who aren't doing their homework and getting a way with it! It really annoys me. I think we should switch groups or get rid of the annoying people."

"Really, I just need to start doing my work..."

"I don't think fixing these problems will be easy. Most of the people that you put in temporary trouble bounce back to being bad. Maybe book tests are the way to go!"

They are so honest. They'll get another chance. I know they can do it because they have done it. There was something in the air today.

Vocabulary Cartoon

As a vocabulary assignment the kids have to draw the meaning of some of the words. Here are two pictures I particularly enjoyed:

(read from left to right to follow cartoon)

Yet Another Fist Fight

I'm not sure if I mentioned that two of my students got into a fist fight during an indoor recess last week. Sure enough, there was another one during dismissal. This was the explanation one boy gave about throwing the first punch:

Me: So, why did you punch him?
Boy: I didn't think in my mind that I was going to punch him. It doesn't work like that Ms. F.
Me: How does it work?
Boy: You think I'm really mad...so mad that I'm about to explode. Then, you put your fist out. If that other person's eye happens to be there, then it's not my problem. It's more of an accident.

Umm...nice try! Actually, it is your problem. The poor kid really thought that would somehow get him out of trouble.

Stripes and Marker Trick

This little boy in my class is out of school for strep throat. His mom asked if I could send some work home with his sister in kindergarten. I went to visit this little girl in kindergarten, and we started talking. We had this interaction:

Me: How's your brother feeling?
Girl: Not good. We had to take him to the Dr. yesterday after school. And, do you want to know something?
Me: Sure
Girl: The dr. looked down his throat and saw stripes.
Me: Really?
Girl: Yes, he looked down his throat and said he thinks he has stripe throat. Don't worry though, because he has some medicine now.

hehe...kindergarteners are just funny.

Now on to markers...I have this bad habit when I teach. I am usually holding a pen or a marker, and I somehow like to throw it in the air (so it flips a little) and catch it. It is never in range of someone getting hit . I make sure of that, and it is never very high (remember, it's ME we're talking about). Today this "habit" did something that amazed us all. I was standing at the chalk board and I threw the marker up (maybe a bit too high this time), it went over my head, and with my poor catching skills, I somehow hit the marker and it landed right on the chalk holder under the chalkboard. The kids were totally amazed, and it totally distracted them from what was less exciting at the moment...my lesson. "WOW! That was so cool! Did you do that on purpose?" one boy asked. Umm, of course! ;)

Can't Wait

During our reading lesson yesterday, the story talked about how a girl was so excited to go on a trip. At the end of the story, she said "I just can't wait." After we read the story, I was asking questions to check their understanding. I asked, "Did she leave yet?" One boy raised his hand and said, "Ms. F, it is obvious that she got on the train already because it says she can't wait. She actually can't wait, so she has to have gotten on the train." I thought the expression "I can't wait," meaning I'm excited, was so totally common....guess not

Clapping

This isn't as funny as it is just simply mind-boggling to me. Today, we sat through a middle school production of Annie Jr (which is like the real show of Annie just shortened). Anyway, throughout the show I noticed my students didn't clap. Furthermore, they didn't clap at the end of the show. You're probably thinking...there must have been some students who clapped. I kid you not! Not one student clapped.

I was so shocked that I had to bring this up in class when we got back. I said, "Raise your hand if you've ever been to a show before." They ALL raised their hands. Raise your hand if you can describe "good audience behavior." A girl raised her hand and said sit quietly, don't kick the chair in front of you, share the arm rest. I proceeded to talk to them about clapping. I actually had to teach them about showing respect at a show. One boy raised his hand and asked, "what if you didn't like the show? do you still have to clap?"

It is just funny to me that this is even something I have to teach in 5th grade. Does anyone else think this is weird?

Have you ever heard of...?

It makes me feel dated when there are some aspects of pop culture that my students just weren't alive to know about. A few weeks ago, I made a reference to Dennis the Menace in class, and the kids were like....who's he? Full House, they know about because it is on Nick and Night with the "old fashioned" shows. Today, I had one of those moments during indoor recess, when they are forced to occupy themselves for a half hour. Anyway, a group of my boys were playing the game Apples to Apples. I've never played, but one boy came up to me and said: "Have you ever heard of this person 'ch (as in the first should in the word chair) er? I was like, "let me see the card" It was Cher!

Saturdays at the Bake Sale

It's been awhile since I've posted. It's been a very busy week back.

A little boy made me laugh today by the way he answered a math question. He had to read information off a bar graph, use the values to add two sets of numbers, and then say which one is the larger value. Finally, as most math curriculums like to emphasize, he also had to explain how he knew his answer was correct. The graph gave results of how many of each kind of baked good was sold at the bake sale. He had to figure out which day (Friday or Saturday) sold the most baked goods in all. Before he did any adding, he said, "this is easy. I know the answer." Being a teacher, I said, "I really want you to show your work. No mental math please." So he started calculating, and he said, "I got the answer I expected, so I know why it's right." The answer was Saturday sold more. The explanation we were looking for is something along the lines of I know Saturday was more profitable than Friday because Saturday sold more baked goods. He wrote, "Saturday sold more baked goods because most people are off from work, and they take a break from their diets with bakery food." So cute!

Genetics Lesson

Last night I had this nightmare that I had to be in meetings again all day unexpectedly. I was so relieved this morning when I realized it was just a bad dream. Anyway, it was great to be back with the kids again. I don't think they were nearly as happy to see me as I was to see them.
Nothing was really striking me as funny until my science lesson on genetics. There's a part where we introduce words that have the prefix homo- and hetero-(heterozygous and homozygous). My favorite part of that lesson is to look at the reaction on kids faces. The kids holding back laughter and smiling are making the connection to hetero-sexual and homo-sexual. They think it is hysterical because they are ten. One boy has this smile that makes me laugh because it looks like the smile on the Grinch. It is big and shaped funny too! Most of the kids are clueless to what the other kids are laughing at. I always try to assume there are a few mature ten year old who get the connection but are actually not laughing....maybe. The best thing to do it keep moving with the lesson. I did overheard this interaction though:

Boy 1 (with a sly look on his face): I've heard other words with the homo and hetero prefix. I've heard someone call another person a homo once. It wasn't very nice!
Boy 2 (a totally clueless science-y kid): There's nothing mean about calling someone a homo. When you call someone a homo, you are just saying they are a homo-sapien.
Boy 1: That is definitely not what it means.
Boy 2: What else could it be?
Boy 1: If you don't know, I'm not allowed to tell you. (Phew!)
Boy 2: Well, I think you are wrong anyways.

I love boy 2's innocence, and his "Mr. Know-it-All" attitude actually come in handy :).

Euros and Natives!

My class is in its explorer unit, and I spend part of today grading their homework. The assignment asked questions about a lesson we did in class, and the kids were encouraged to use their notes to answer the questions. In our explorer unit, a key concept is the Columbian Exchange (Columbian, as in Columbus and not Columbia, the country). The Columbian Exchange is the transfer of ideas and goods between the Native Americans and the Europeans during this time period (for those who need a quick refresher). In the homework, the question was: describe the Columbian Exchange with supporting details. One student wrote:

"The Columbian Exchange is when the Natives and the Euros had this, well, trade thing going on. The Euros gave the Natives a variety of things. Some were good and some were bad. The Natives did the same for the Euros."

Yikes! I cannot get over his use of "Euros" and "Natives (not to mention the fact that he didn't provide any detail)." There is, for sure, "see me" written on his paper. We need to discuss proper ways to refer to groups of people.