Imaginary Animals

If I could have quit teaching this week I would have, and it was all because of a raging, lunatic parent that claims I don't see her child's brilliance....believe me, I'm really trying to see it.... Anyway, thank goodness it's vacation.

We did this project for our animal adaptation unit, and they were all laid out on the back table in my classroom. The kids had to come up with an animal that could survive in one of two climate choices. They did a great job. They wrote their papers describing their animal and then they got to build their animals in class. The easiest way to do this is to really combine some animals that you already know (ie- a cross between a bird and a butterfly). Get it?

One girl was really proud of her imaginary animal and got her dad to come in a view the animal before school started. She brought him into the classroom and had this interaction:

Dad: oh, wow! I love it! It's a cross between a gopher and a zebra.
Girl: Daddy! How could you say that? (saddened look)
Dad: (puzzled and trying to recover) hmm, maybe I need to look at it more closely.
Girl: It's because you're so tall. Here...(she hands him the animal to get a closer look)
Dad picks up the animal
Dad: Oh, I see it now...sweetheart, I'm so proud of you! (hands it back to her)
Girl: You still don't know what it is, right? (teary now)
Dad: Honey, don't get upset...I just don't know a lot about animals. I bet when you bring it home, Mommy will know exactly what it is..
Girl: Yeah, she will...it's part horse, part caterpillar and part beaver...see?
Dad: Oh...okay...

Kids art projects are funny...I always like to say something like, "That looks beautiful! What is it?" You can get into hot water otherwise

Persuasive Writing

One of the styles of writing we expose kids to in fifth grade is persuasive writing. The thing about learning to write persuasively is that you have to know how to be convincing someone in general. Some of these kids don't realize that 'because I want it' or 'I asked for it' aren't very convincing. Anyway, I started this lesson off with an index card on everyone's desk and asked them to try to convince me not to give them homework. This might be the best idea I've had in a long time. Check out some of the tactics they used (and my thoughts afterward):

"Did you know that a lot of Americans are obese? Well, you're the cause. Teachers force kids to sit and do homework instead of playing outside. That is why the country is fat." Oh yeah, fast food, TV, computers and video games have nothing to do with it ;).

"A scientist said once that the more free time students have the better they do in school." So, does that mean that anything a scientist said once is true?

"If we didn't have homework, I would behave better in class because I'd be done running around. I could get my rest in class." Dude, you have to behave in the classroom anyway.

"Ms. F, I bet you didn't like homework as a kid. So, why do you give it to us? Shouldn't you treat us the way you would have wanted to be treated. It's the golden rule." If they only knew what I nerd I was...(and still am..;).

Flexibility

I think I've mentioned before how dismissal is actually a tough time of the day. Remarkably, we have it down to somewhat of a science. In order for this system to work, there are some absolutes: all parents must get on a line to pick up their kid (yes, even you!); any change in a child's regular dismissal must have a note from home and no bus is allowed to leave until we give them the all clear that they have all of their students. One bus driver decided that he wanted to make a deal with the security guard at work, and they had this arrangement where he could leave early once he though he had everybody. As I'm sure you've imagined by now, he left before having one student on Friday. Over the walkie talkie, someone said, "there are no deals here!" As we are figuring out what happened, the little boy taps me, and we have this interaction:

Boy: (tapping me) Ms. F, I have an idea.
Me: What's that?
Boy: I can just get on another bus. My mom told me I need to be more flexible. Maybe it doesn't have to be that bus.
Me: It does have to be that bus, because those buses go to other places.
Boy: Yeah, but I just don't want to be HERE right now, and maybe one of those drivers will take me home.

Poor guy, I wanted to go home too! I don't think getting on a random bus was the kind of flexibility Mom was talking about though...

From Books to Breakup

In elementary school, kids have "reading" as a subject. Many of you probably don't remember back that far, but reading and understanding it is an actually activity. In my class now we are cycling three books: Phantom Tollbooth, Among the Hidden and The Time Bike. In the Among the Hidden group, we were talking about how different one of the characters is from the rest of his family. One of the ideas about reading that I always come back to with this kids is that the reader needs to relate to what he or she is reading in some way. So, I try to think of questions that might guide their thinking. So, I asked: how are you different than the rest of the members of your family. I expected many of the answers I got such as: I'm the least grumpy when I wake up, I am the only one who likes cartoons, I'm the only one who likes bugs....Then, there was this answer:

"I'm the only one who doesn't make a big deal out of my sister's break up with her stupid boyfriend. My parents are listening to her cry, and I want to yell at her to shut up. You're not allowed to say shut up in my house though."

What a sympathetic younger brother!

A note about Among the Hidden: This is an awesome book that I think even adults should read. It is the first book in the 'shadow children' series by Jane Haddix.

A computer just for video games

I took a personal day yesterday, and it turns out if was a good day to do it. The rain storm took out the power at school, and we were barely functional today. From what I hear the school was ridiculous on Monday. Coming back to school today was stressful because of some commuting hassles. I was further annoyed when I realized the copies, emails and smartboard presentations were not going to happen. One thing was able to totally change my mood, and it wasn't the electricity coming on (although we eventually got some power). One of the boys came up to me and said, "Welcome back, Ms. F! I missed you." That boy might have just been being polite, but it really helped me.

On a more ridiculous note, one of the boys in my class told me that he can't type his report at home because he isn't allowed to use the computers at his house. I was surprised to hear it, and at conferences last week, I was sure to ask his parents about it. His parents were like, "what?! You mean that less than a year old computer in his room. Of course, he can use it." We decided that we were going to team up to keep a closer eye on his stories. He gave me a different story about the computer today that "it is really only for video games, and that (his) dad doesn't like it if he uses it for anything else." So, I told him that we were going to make a phone call together and he can ask his dad permission right now if he can use his computer for his assignment. Looking a totally uncomfortable, we dialed his dad's cell phone and spoke together on speaker phone. We had this conversation:

Me: Hi, Mr. ______ this is Ms. F. I'm standing here with Jacob and his handwritten copy of his report.
Dad: Hey, buddy, why isn't the report typed like Ms. F asked ?
Jay: Hey (quiet voice then silence)
Dad: That's your explanation? Hey?
Jay: I didn't type it.
Dad: I hear that. Why?
He is just standing there stiff..no sound coming out of his mouth...
Me: Mr. _________, Jay shared that he is under the impression that he's not allowed to use his computer unless it is for video games.
Dad: Seriously? Come on, Jay
Jay: I was just..
Dad (cuts him off): Buddy, just stop...whatever you were just, you aren't anymore...got it?
Jay: okay
Dad: You are going to type the paper tonight...on your computer... that's not just for video games

Honestly...did he think I would fall for a computer just for video games...come on!

The clincher...as we are ending the conversation, this happens:

Dad: So, we are all clear about what is going to happen and what is going to be in Ms. F's hands tomorrow morning.
Jay: Yeah, and Dad..
Dad: Yeah
Jay: Can I go to Joey's after-school for a playdate?

Oy! Even I could tell, it's not a good time to ask this..yikes!

Distraught

This boy I tutor came in to our session a little annoyed. When I asked him what was wrong he explained that he has to redo part of an assignment, and he thought it was ridiculous. It was a vocabulary assignment. He had to write sentences that showed the meanings for his vocabulary words. For the word, distraught, he wrote: "The man stood in from of subway and McDonalds distraught." I asked him if he knew distraught meant and he told me. So we continued with this conversation:

Me: okay, I'm not sure I see how your sentence shows the meaning of distraught
Boy: well, the man can't decide if he should get food from McDonalds or Subway, and that's why he's standing there.
Me: I see how he might be confused but he's not confused because he's upset. He's just undecided.
Boy: I disagree, speak for yourself. You have one meal. Do you enjoy the fries and all beef patty or the delicious turkey sub and chips? When you are hungry, some people might feel upset and confused.
Me: I see what you're saying. Maybe your teacher needs a more common situation that people get distraught in...can you think of anything?
Boy: ice cream or cake?
Me: Let's move away from deciding about food.
Boy: Like losing keys?

This cracked me up!

Mom, do you do....?

Fifth grade is a hard age for kids because they start wanting to be a part of the crowd so badly, and friendships are so incredibly important to them. At my school there are usually a few cliques of girls that vary in interest and maturity level. A girl from my class started hanging out with a more "mature" group of girls made up of mostly girls from another class. I am not going to deny that this year's crowd is not the hippest. Anyway, since she started hanging out with these girls, she's been making some poor decisions. and I've been in touch with her mom about it. We are trying to help guide her a little more. The mother shared this story today:

"You know, Ms. F, you're absolutely right that she's being exposed to new things with this group, and she's not processing things well. My husband and I agreed that this past weekend was going to be the last play date for a long time. When we picked her up, she got in the car and was rather quiet. Suddenly, like out of nowhere, she asked, 'Mom, do you do masturbation?' My husband almost hit a tree! She didn't understand what the word meant (obviously), and apparently she said this friend's sister was somehow talking about masturbation."

How ridiculous?! How embarrassing is it going to be for her when she gets older and realizes she asked her parents that?!

See, this is why I work with kids

For awhile now, this situation has stuck in my mind as to why working with adults would drive me crazy. I just get the feeling that they should know better. Kids, we'll at least they have the fact that they're young and naive as an excuse. Anyway, picture this:

I was looking for research books for my kids in the library. That's right, my kids are rockin' they're first research report with the help of yours truly. As I was searching the shelves, a little kindergarten class was checking out books. Watching them, in and of itself, is pure entertainment. There is a boy in this class that has a sister in my class. I recognized his mother walking into the library. As soon as she stepped foot in the library, the little boy ran to her: "Mommy!" His little unsuspecting friend ran over to her too. He tapped her and said, "are you Adam's mommy?" With an annoyed expression, she turned to this little boy and said, "kid, what do you think? I just walk into random classes and kiss random kids. I mean, come on!" If he were a little older, he probably would have walked away hurt and maybe started crying. He may have felt hurt, but he certainly didn't look it. He had the best response I think he could have had. He paused a minute and said, "so, are you Adam's mommy? I don't know." Thank goodness Adam finally stepped in and said, "Yes, this is my mommy."

Here's my question: would it have killed her to just say yes the first time? Furthermore, she may not walk up to random kindergartners and kiss them, but she will snap at random kindergartners? I was so annoyed with her just watching that. I feel like she should know better. Honestly! Kudos to that little boy for hanging in there and giving it right back to her. What would she have done if her five year old didn't take control of the situation?

Perpetually winking

Work has been very busy lately for a few reasons...1) it's report card season (teachers spend hours writing narratives and filling out chart that don't really give a good picture of the child) 2) it is conference season (not only do I do more paper work for that, but parents constantly want to change their time) 3) I am giving a workshop on professional development day and needed to prepare for that 4) oh yeah..lessons & grading 5) I have to coordinate this chesed project for my class to go to an old age home (seriously?). I promised myself that I wouldn't use this blog for venting, but I guess the occasional venting will be okay. All in all, it is so nice when I get to do my job and actually teach (instead of all this other garbage).

Anyway, of course there were some things that made me laugh this week..for instance:

A little boy in my class had his hair grown over his eyes for a long time. He told me that he was finally "getting a hair cut" yesterday. I was excited to actually see this kids face for once. What happened with his hair is absolutely ridiculous...he got a haircut that only shows one of his eyes! So, I kid you not, it's like he is perpetually winking. Unbelievable!

Trying to Use Words

As many of my readers know, some of the kids in my class have moderate special needs. I have this really bright boy who has some trouble understanding social conventions. He needs very structured and explicit teaching about certain behaviors that come naturally, or at least very quickly, to most students. We are still working on appropriate ways to ask to go to the bathroom. At the beginning on the year, he was walking up to me and grabbing his crotch. I had to stop that immediately for obvious reasons. For the beginning of the year, we developed a hand signal for him to signal to me that he needs to go to the bathroom (he holds up his index finger). This has been working out beautifully. Now, we are trying to get him to use his words. We talked about and practiced (before the snow days) ways he can tell me he needs to go to the bathroom:
"I need to go to the bathroom." "May I go to the bathroom?" etc...
Today, he came up to me and did his hand signal. I reminded him that we were going to try to use his words instead. "Oh yeah," he said, "I need to go number two."
We're making progress slowly!